


heaven is a place on earth with you

by thirdstreetsinners



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, Multi, They just need hugs, canon belongs to me now ig, eventual pan and v tho, kerry n v, mentioned jackie and misty, mentioned judy and evelyn, mostly fluff tho, uhh first fic hii, wip!!, yeah!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29552697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdstreetsinners/pseuds/thirdstreetsinners
Summary: it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for youeverything i doi tell you all the timeheaven is a place on earth with youtell me all the things you wanna do—male v x panam, in which v reflects on every moment that led up to his current life with the nomad, starting all the way from the beginning.
Relationships: Judy Alvarez & Evelyn Parker, Kerry Eurodyne/V, Misty Olszewski & Jackie Welles, Panam Palmer/Original Male Character(s), Panam Palmer/V
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22





	1. holding out for a hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
> out where the lightning splits the sea

If someone had told Vinsento Yamada he would be asked to fulfill one of the craziest heists he'd ever been involved in, then proceed to be shot in the head by fixer of said heist, then live despite the shooting and wake up in a landfill, he'd call you insane.  
The last thing he'd expect, however, was hanging out in the Badlands with the Aldecaldos.  
It all started back in Afterlife.  
—  
A dark figure budged through the crowd in a stuffy bar, dubbed "Afterlife" for the attendees were either Night City legends, or wannabe legends. The figure was after one woman in particular; Rogue Amendiares. Amendiares was an aforementioned Night City legend, famous for what went down in Arasaka tower along with rockerboy Johnny Silverhand. After what seemed like years of searching, they spotted the older fixer lounging, while a client screamed at them and stormed off.

"I'd like to speak to Rogue."

The figure stepped out of the darkness. A lean, tanned asian man wearing a black turtleneck and harness, paired with cargo pants and combat boots crossed his arms firmly. His hair was short, styled into an undercut with a few bangs framing his right eye. The bouncer sized him up, as he was taller than him. However, he looked closer to see two pistols in the harness, and a katana holstered at his waist. The smaller man quirked a brow and tilted his head, while the guard simply exhaled annoyingly, letting him through. Rogue turned her attention to him, now raising an eyebrow and squinting.

"Names' V. I uh, need help." His voice was deep, but slightly unsure. The woman remained squinting at him, before shooing the others away.

"Everyone in this city needs help. What makes you any different?"

  
"Eddies." V simply stated, now sitting on the couch casually, one arm hanging. The woman's expression was a mixture of annoyance and confusion.

  
"Alright, what's your deal?"

  
"Need to find Anders Hellman. I was told you would be the only person who'd be able to do it." Rogue was silent for a moment, before sipping her drink and looking pensive.

  
"Interesting. He's most likely to be guarded by Kang Tao, probably out in the Badlands."

  
"Shit, the Badlands?" V whined, like a little kid seconds from throwing a temper tantrum.

  
"He's gonna be in the middle of ass-nowhere?"

"You're gonna need someone who knows the land. I have a connection who may be of use." He nodded, sitting up. V noticed a glass of whiskey next to him, as he put it to his lips before downing it.

"There's a nomad—well, former may be more accurate these days— who knows the land like the back of her hand. Although, she may be stubborn. Last job didn't go so well.." Rogue trailed off, sipping more of her drink as V raised his eyebrows. He pondered whether or not it was Rogue's doing or the nomads. Then again, Johnny trusted her like no one else. It wasn't like they had any other options.  
"Lost her car and some merch, unless you can get that back I'm not sure how much help she'll be." V nodded, taking in as much information as possible. He was sure he could get the car back. Hell, he'd already stole half the fixers in Night City's shit back already. How hard could a nomad's car be?

"Name's Panam Palmer, new Solo. Here's her number." The older woman's eyes lit up blue for a moment, as she transferred the information over to V. He stood up, brushing a hand through his hair.

"Got it. Thanks... do I need to pay you or.." Rogue was silent, deathstaring the man. Johnny was right—her eyes were like goddamn ice. The man melted under her stare, shifting his gaze elsewhere.

"I mean you gave me a chicks number so, I-" Silence remained.

  
"You know, I'll just pay you now." He sped through his words sheepishly, transferring eddies to Rogue. A devilish grin grew on her face, as she crossed her legs and finished her drink. The waiter came around, as V scurried his way out of the club. He called his bike from Delamain, before staring at the number in his phone. He was unsure why he felt nervous to do this.

“Just fuckin' call her." An older man with long dark hair and a silver arm appeared, sitting at V's bike. The bike was bright red with some characters written on it, a small stash attached to it.

"Jesus, Johnny. Warn me before you speak."The older man scoffed, now smoking a cigarette. V walked over to his bike, opening his stash to put on a black motorcycle helmet.

"C'moooon, we don't got all day. We barely got.. well... shit, I don't know how much time." Johnny mumbled, as V got on the bike. He pulled out his phone, and called the nomad.

"Hello?" A voice picked up, to which V's eyes widened.

"Panam?"

  
"Who's asking?"

  
"Haha..'who's asking' who's asking?" V asked in a flirtatious voice, before his expression shifted to straight as he just heard silence.  
"OKAY wait wait, I'm a merc. Name's V. Need your help." He could hear Johnny exhaling sharply, to which V wished he could slap him. Unfortunately, pretty hard to do when he's in his head.

"Help?" The woman asked plainly.

  
"Ugh, I'll just cut to the chase. Heard you're missing your car. Pretty important for a nomad, hm?" Panam hummed in agreement, to which V nodded, thanking god silently she didn't already hang up.  
"I can get it back."

"Mhm." She obviously didn't believe him, which V didn't blame her. If a random merc called him for no fucking reason whatsoever, he'd probably tell them to fuck off too.

  
"Just tell me where to be." He sounded desperate, which was usually his last effort. Silence fell between the two, as he sighed deeply. He feared the nomad had hung up, before he heard her voice.

"Lot off Bonita street, hugging the city line. See ya." Panam hung up, and with that, V was in the clear. Jeez, that was a clusterfuck. He began on his way to the destination, Johnny immediately appearing on the back of the bike.

"God, V I thought you were a sweet talker. You charmed the pants off literally anyone else BUT her. Now Rogue, I get. That chicks got eyes of steel. Looks like she'll rip your balls off." V nodded.  
"But this nomad chick? C'mon, don't tell me you got a hard on from a voice. You're sad, V."

“Fuck off, Johnny. I'm just kinda nervous. Hellman is our only lead as of now, and if we can't get to him—" V trailed off in an almost scared voice, to which Johnny cut him off.

"We will, V. We gotta. No cold feet now." A small smile crept onto the mercenary's face. Johnny and him had not always been friends, in fact they tried killing each other at first. But they'd bonded—somehow, and they were each other's comfort at times. Neither one of them were really emotionally vulnerable, but as they were in each other's minds more they began to see just how alike they were. Johnny would be there to push V through any fears, and V would encourage Johnny to have fears, to be as human as one could be in his position. The relationship had become so healthy and supportive, although they still teased the hell outta each other.

"Thanks, Johnny."

"No problem, my samurai. Now it's time to talk to that Nomad broad."

V looked up to see that he had arrived, as he parked his bike and took off his helmet. Placing it in the stash, he made sure to turn on the anti theft setting. The bike was valuable—hell, he'd gotten it off Wakako. No way in hell would he lose it. He pondered if maybe the Nomad's car was the same dilemma. Speaking of nomad, V looked around until he saw a woman bent over a car, presumably working on the engine.

"Damn." Johnny commented, appearing a few feet away from the woman with a pensive look at her ass. V wanted to tell him to quit being a pig, but he realized he'd look insane talking to himself out loud. The man just rolled his eyes, before shoving his hands into his pockets awkwardly. He stood beside the woman, leaning over oddly and looking across the lot. Considering she was the only other person there, she'd have to be Panam.

"Panam?" The nomad's shoulders had jumped, but the rest of her body was relaxed. She looked up from the hood of the car to meet the mercenaries eyes. He gulped harshly, taken aback at how stunning she was. Her hair was up in locs, her skin mocha colored and eyes dark yet glimmery somehow. She wore a racing jacket paired with a tight outfit and boots. V shook his head, remembering what Johnny said before.

"You must be V."

"You can call me whatever you want, Nomad." The mercenary gave a friendly smile yet his eyes were suggestive. Panam quirked an eyebrow and returned her attention to the car. V looked away awkwardly, expecting a totally different reaction. He sighed defeatedly and dropped his arms.  
"Okay okay, business it is. I uh, need to find someone."

"No shit." The nomad deadpanned, scoffing a little. Johnny chuckled.

"I like this one, V."

"No, no! Not like that. I.. ouch." The mercenary sounded offended, scratching

the back of his head insecurely.  
"I meant, uh in particular. He's in the badlands, and Rogu-"

"Rogue sent you? Her and her confidentiality, huh. Well, she's the reason my cars gone." Panam cut him off, as V's eyes widened and he looked sheepish. He kept mentally slapping himself.

"Oh, well. I'm pretty good at finding stuff. What happened?" The nomad motioned for him to help her with the engine, as stepped over cautiously.

"Did a job for Rogue, taking out a client with my uh.. partner. He screwed me over and took my shit." V was able to quickly fix whatever the issue was, as soon as he held up two wires and just tied them together. Panam froze in confusion, as she was sure this guy was nothing but a gonk. He noticed the silence and perked up.  
"That it?"

"You fixed it." She was in awe, as he scoffed and leaned against the car.

  
"I'm more than just a pretty face, Panam." The mercenary sounded like his usual self, closing his eyes with a wide grin happily.

  
"Uh, huh." She mumbled, closing the car top as V jumped a little.

  
"Not denying it, huh?" He batted his eyelashes, as the nomad simply rolled her eyes and got in the car.

  
"Gonk."

  
"Pretty gonk." V corrected her, getting in the passenger seat and closing the door.  
"So, you have this car?"

  
"Borrowed it. Not even close to my baby." Something about the way she said 'baby' made V feel some type of way, to which Johnny scoffed at. He appeared in the backseat, putting on his aviators.

"You seem to know your shit." Panam commented as she began driving, sounding half amused and half impressed.

  
"I raced a lot in high school, bit after too."

  
"Really?" V nodded, getting comfortable and fiddling with his phone. He made sure to text Delamain to pick up his bike, as he wanted to protect it with his life.

"Amateur shit, y'know. My parents sent me to a private school in Socal. Burnt out private school kids were either drug dealers, tuners, or just freaks."

"Gonna assume you were all three." The nomad couldn't help but crack a soft grin, to which V returned the smile. She was beautiful when she smiled, not that there was second going by she didn't look absolutely gorgeous. V pondered how she could, considering she probably spent all her time in the Badlands probably. She didn't even smell of dirt, or mud, or shit, or whatever V thought the Badlands was full of.

"The first two, yeah. The third depends," He joked, to which Panam scoffed. V was glad she at least found that funny.

"Nothing really interested me after school, so I became a joytoy." V explained nonchalantly, to which the nomad looked over at him with a surprised look. He noticed the silence and looked back at her, before frowning slightly.

  
"Oh come on, Panam, it's 2077-"

"No, no! I don't think it's bad or anything! I was just.. taken aback." Panam's face was flushed looking back at the road, V rolling his eyes.

  
"Uh huh, suuure." She slapped his thigh harshly, causing him to yelp in pain and hold it.

  
"It's gonna be a long drive, might as well go on about your job." Her focus was on the road, adjusting her mirror as V still held his leg.

“Huh, so you want to know about my sex working job with a lot of sexual encounters involving me performing sexually?" He asked with a smirk, the woman rolling her eyes and fighting off a grin.

  
"You.. can leave out a lot of details." V chuckled, a strange noise between a giggle and a snort which made the nomad break out a grin.

"So, I think I was about twenty or so when I started. Wasn't bad. Kind of like a..shmorgishborg of people. A wise man once said 'If you're good at something, never do it for free.'" He remarked cooly, sitting back.

  
"Who said that?"

  
"Dunno, he sounds pretty wise though, huh?" Panam simply nodded, tilting her head and motioning for him to go on. It had been awhile since V had talked so much about himself, Johnny wouldve probably stopped him by now.

  
"Hmm.. well, about a year later some dude from Clouds picked me up. Biggest fucking mistake of my life," He shook his head regretfully, with an ounce of disgust on his face.

“It started off pretty alright. The pay was better, and the clients smelled.. better. That was all until it began taking a toll, clients got worse. The richer they are, the bitchier. Couldn't really tell ya all that went down, least not right now. After that, I got into BDs."

  
"Oh." The nomad unconsciously muttered, as the mercenary nodded.

  
"Shit happened. Got out of there, wouldn't say completely unscathed." He sighed sharply before wiping his eyes tiredly, his face drained of any color or feeling. Silence fell between the two as the air grew thick, a tense feeling in the air. Panam looked over at V who was picking off the polish on his nails.

"You um.. okay?" The woman asked awkwardly, looking over at the distracted merc. He looked up frantically, before nodding.

  
"Guess talking about it made me relive it for a moment. S'fine though, been a few years," V waved the woman off reassuringly.

  
"Figured being a merc was fun." 

  
"And?" Panam was curious as to what it really entailed. Not like she considered herself one really, she was unsure what she even was doing.

  
"Well, the hookups are certainly fun." He smirked, looking over to her. She looked exasperated before he nudged her shoulder.

  
"I'm fucking with you, dude. Not really but, anyways. It pays well. Sometimes I get free shit too. Pretty fun." She nodded, a small smile falling on her face. The nomad had to admit, he was good company and not a total gonk.

"What're you doing in Night City?"

  
"Not really sure, to be honest. I uh, belonged to the Aldecaldos for the longest time. There was a conflict and I just left. So, here I am." V nodded, looking outside the window.

They were in the Badlands now, near a cave-looking area. The merc had to admit—it was a pretty sight. Wild and free, desert and mountains going on for miles. There was a warming sensation running through V's body looking at the area, a newer feeling. It was gorgeous—unlike the clustered and neon fueled garbage can that was Night City. His family had described the Badlands as a dump, a "trailer park trash-wasteland" to be exact. To V, it looked more like Utopia.

"Well, Night City is far from a place for a new start. It's usually the place you run from." His attention was stuck on the view. Panam had noticed this, and a small smile crept across her face. Part of it may have been pride in where she was from, and that a former corpo was this in awe of it. The other part may have been just how adorable the merc looked admiring the view.

  
"Liking what you see?" She asked him, feeling ridiculous as it sounded like something that would come out of V's mouth.

  
"You or the Badlands?" Panam punched his arm, causing him to groan and grab his arm.

  
"—Joking, shit! Don't throw your arm so much." She looked at him with an amused look, curious if he was dumb enough to test her.  
“I was taking in the area and all. It was nice until someone punched the fuck outta me!" Panam chuckled at this, returning her attention back to the road. God, what a lovely sound that was. Johnny wished he could've kicked V's seat right now.

  
"You'll live. Anyways, we're pretty much here."

V and Panam had successfully retrieved her car back, to which the woman was very happy. The pair had worked well together, playing off each other in combat well. Despite V coming off as a total idiot at first, Panam grew to be comfortable with him and explained the whole situation to him. He was a surprisingly good listener—and even better at giving advice. V had this perfect balance of playfulness and actual helpfulness at times, which the nomad had to admit, was admirable.

  
"So... that was your ex?" They both got into Panam's car, as V wiped blood from under his eye. The woman seemed slightly embarrassed, as she pretended she was just checking the car.

  
"Yeah, guess you could say that."

  
"Hmm. You could do better." V simply remarked nonchalantly, as if he wasn't just in combat a few moments ago. Panam laughed at this, her nerves calming down a bit.

  
"Better, as in you?"

  
"You said it, not me." The nomad rolled her eyes at him as he looked all over the car, noticing its small details that made the car hers. Every crack, scratch, scrapes and various stickers that decorated the vehicle. It was pleasant how much attention to detail she put into her car, V thought.

"What do you think?" She asked, referring to the car. Panam started it up and began driving out of the cave area.

  
"It's fucking sick, dude. Not really a truck kind of guy but, it's nice." The woman had a satisfied look on her face, which V grinned in amusement at. She anticipated some random, bizarre comment next, or a pickup line, or anything cheesy. But V just met her eyes, wondering why she was looking at him.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"No, no. Just, was expecting you to say something." V half smirked, flexing his shoulder as he hurt it fighting with the Shivs.

  
"Like what?

"  
"Something corny like 'The drivers not that bad, either.'" Panam answered, mocking him in a cheesy voice. He scoffed, raising one eyebrow quizzically.

"I mean, I was thinking it but.. I'm worn out. No more colorful commentary from me."

"Bummer. I think i'm starting to miss it." The nomad playfully pouted.

"Where are you taking me? Did something I say actually work—" The driver kicked him in the leg, as she continued driving normally.

  
"A bar not far from here. Need a beer." V cheered tiredly, wiping his eyes.

  
"Well, no more shenanigans in that case. I was raised to be respectful of a ladies consent." His tone was unintentionally posh, which made the nomads lip quirk a little.

  
"Wow, aren't you a king for the people."

  
"You know, I would've been a prince back in Okinawa. Had I stayed, that is." V took off his balaclava, as messy dark locks fell over his face. His hair curled all over the place, as he brushed it out of his face. Panam glanced over, taking in the man next to her. She had to admit, the gonk was pretty fucking beautiful.

He had almost black eyes in a monolid shape, accompanied by a small freckle under his right. His lips looked a little red, but full. Most notably, however, was the large purple bruise around his right eye which faded into his lower forehead and lip. Despite how disheveled he looked, he was handsome. The mercenary wiped his face, blinking a few times before he looked over at the woman basically checking him out.

  
"You should really focus on the road, nomad." He chuckled lowly, as Panam embarrassingly shook her head and looked back at the road. It looked empty for miles, not like they'd have anything to worry about.

"A prince, huh?" She changed the subject quickly, coughing awkwardly. The man only laughed in reply at how adorable she was.

  
"Mhm. My dad would've never let that happen though." The nomad's eyebrows quirked up in confusion, as she looked over at him again. V was distracted—again as he was now fiddling with the harness that was half on at this point.

"V."

  
It was as if the merc was lost in his own world, yawning and wiping his eyes as if he were a tired baby.

"V." She stopped the car and shook his shoulder. He stirred, looking straight at her with a confused look.

"Huh?"

  
"You get distracted often?" Panam asked with a small giggle, amused at the man who looked so intimidating at first yet the biggest nerd she'd ever met.

"Oh! Yeah, I don't like talking about my dad often." Johnny appeared in the backseat once again, this time putting a hand on V's shoulder. Not like he could feel it, but the rocker boy wished he could. Normally, Johnny wasn't much for comforting or sob stories. But V and his family had genuinely shocked the older man.

"Why is that?" The nomad asked innocently, beginning to drive again as V just looked away nervously.

  
"He was, uh.. abusive I guess. Common around there, especially if the child misbehaved. I guess you're probably wondering why I have these bruises." His voice perked up at the end of his sentence, as he wore an awkward smile. The woman just hummed in agreement, scared she might've offended him by asking.

  
"When he came to visit me, figuring I graduated, I was too high off my ass to well.. not be high off my ass. Mind you, I also would wear Baja Joe hoodies and slides on a daily basis,"

"Oh." Panam deadpanned, knowing exactly where this was going. V nodded, continuing.

  
"I was like, the poster child for a stoner in California. But anyways, he comes to see me and my eyes are red as fuck, I'm shaking like crazy, and drinking like the biggest cappuccino anyone has ever seen. All he does is slap me, and then burn my face with his lighter. Leaves, and I never see him again for a whole year." The man explained the story nonchalantly, but it was obvious this was an uncomfortable topic for him.

"Holy shit, V. I'm so sorry."

  
"Don't worry about it. A lot of people find the bruises attractive." He shrugged, to which Panam just looked at him in awe.

"You seem so.. calm about this."

  
"It's been a couple of years, Panam. Besides, not one for opening up and sob stories. I just move on. Life goes on. Guys' dead anyways." V chuckled self-deprecatingly, as the car stopped in front of the bar.

Panam got out, shaking her head to herself as she was so confused. How the fuck did V not falter at all? It was a horrible story, he hadn't even told her everything and she could already assume what it was like. It's an awful story, and yet V just told it as if it was so unimportant. The nomad tried to let it escape her mind as she walked into the bar with him. She was a regular there, as a couple of others greeted her as well.

"I see you brought a friend." A burly, white man was cleaning some glasses with an old rag, as he gave a friendly smile to the pair.

"New partner?" The bartender asked, as Panam sat down and just shrugged.

  
"Guess you could say that." V replied, joining her.

  
"Just the regular for me. V?" The mercenary looked up at her, before he rolled his eyes back thinking of what to order.

  
"I'll just have whatever you're having." The burly man nodded, as he got to work.

  
"Partner, huh? I'm honored." Panam rolled her eyes, resting an arm on the counter.

  
"Perhaps." V half-smirked at her, his eyes squinting slightly. The nomad looked away to avoid letting him see her smile back, as she rubbed the back of her neck like she was stretching.

"Real discrete, nomad."

  
"I have a name, you know." She looked back at him with a playfully annoyed expression.

  
"I know, but it's your petname. I'm open to suggestions, though." The bartender returned with their drinks, as Panam picked up the bottle and drank it all in one swig. The rockerboy appeared on the counter between them, resting his arms on his knees and cackling.

"My kinda woman, V. She's a keeper." V shooed him away mentally, as he focused back on the woman next to him. She put down the bottle unfazed, as she looked back at V who was just in awe. He quickly picked up his own drink, taking a sip.

"I'm going to need more of these to put up with you, prince." Panam teased, motioning for the bartender to make another drink politely. He nodded, as he got to work while he chatted with another customer.

  
"How cute. I mostly guarded my family and whatnot, most boys were asked to." V ran a hand through his thick hair, as he explained.

  
"Interesting. Save any damsels in distress?" Panam teased, as she chugged another bottle of beer down right in front of him, wiping her mouth with her arm.

"A couple, I guess. None of them are nearly as charming as you though." V giggled deeply, looking very amused at how fast the smaller woman drank.

“Thanks, your highness." She bowed, as he just shook his head.

  
"The nomads fun when she's had a few drinks."

  
"And what am I when i'm not?" Panam asked with one eyebrow raised, a playfully offended look on her face. The merc was thinking to himself, looking up.

"Intimidating, but hot." The woman snorted as she rested her head on her first.

  
"Really?" V just nodded, sipping at his first beer still.

  
"Would you have said this to me a few hours ago?"

"Definitely not. You were sober and holding a rifle." The man answered quickly, exhaling sharply.

"I'm confident that you won't remember any of this with the amount you're drinking."

  
"Oh, I will. I hold my beer well." The woman would prove, as she drank more. V put a hand on her arm cautiously, his mouth forming an 'O' shape.

  
"Maybe you should pace yourself a little."

"I'm fine, V. Have you not met anyone that drinks like this?" Panam scoffed, as he just shook his head.

"I mean, sure. But they all fell out the moment they put down the bottle. You just.. keep going." He was in awe, as Johnny reappeared only to nod approvingly. The nomad simply shrugged, as she sipped more.

"Theres a motel next door. I know the owner, booking rooms won't be an issue."

"We should book a single room." V suggested with a not-so innocent smile, as Panam nodded.

"That would definitely save money. We can rest and plan to find Hellman. The rooms with twin beds are a lot cheaper."

"That's..not what I meant."

"What did you have in mind?" The woman returned his mischievous smile, before winking at him. Had V not been looking at her, he would've sworn it never happened. She got up quickly, as he rushed over to help her. Panam laughed at this, shaking her head.

"I'm fine, V. Really. No need to help me."

“Whatever you say, princess." The nomads face was now slightly red, as she rolled her eyes and thanked the bartender. They both stepped out of the bar, now making their way over to the motel.

"You know, I can drink a lot more than that." Panam grinned, walking backwards with her hands in her jacket pockets.

"Oh jesus christ." V shook his head, sounding like a disapproving parent. She laughed at this, walking perfectly fine. Oh, how the mercenary was envious of it. He hoped no relic malfunction would go off—or at least be visible. The last thing he wanted was to tell her all about Johnny, and the relic, and the fact he's dying. All that baggage on someone he just met felt so unfair, and annoying. Besides, V was enjoying her company. Why ruin it?

The pair rented a small room and stepped inside. It didn't smell too bad, considering how run down it appeared. V was so use to posh hotels or his own apartment that he was skeptical about what to touch and not to touch. Panam immediately sat by the bed near the door, taking off her jacket to reveal toned, slender arms. V had to sneak a glance at them, admiring the woman's smooth skin. Johnny laid on the bed near V in a "draw-me-like-one-of-your-french-girls" position, smirking away.

"Look who's bein' a pig now, eh?" V just stepped into the bathroom, washing his face with water. He met his own eyes in it, worry and fear showing. The rockerboy reappeared behind him, his hands on the younger mans shoulders.

"It'll all be alright, V." Johnny simply reassured the man, disappearing with a blue glitch-like pattern exiting with him. V stepped back out, kicking off his boots before turning around. The mercenary crossed his arms and pulled off his harness and turtleneck. His back was muscular, decorated with some freckles and scars. There was a small tattoo on the back of his neck: an Oni character-like mask in red ink.

Now was the nomad's turn to ogle at their partner. It was nothing like her to do that, especially to a guy she just met. Especially, when that guy was a total gonk who kept her on her toes everytime they spoke. Then again, it was solely physical attraction anyways. Panam was sure it would fade away, or that it was only the alcohol in her system. God, V was right. She needed to sleep fast.

The former Aldecaldo got comfortable as she lay in her bed, moving around a little before finally settling. V was already in bed with his eyes closed, his cheek cutely pressed up against the pillow making them look puffy. Panam found this adorable, as she smiled to herself.

"Night, V." His eyes opened a little, as he looked over to the beauty staring back at him with a sleepy smile.

"Night, Panam."


	2. you might think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you might think i’m crazy,  
> to hang around with you  
> maybe you think i’m lucky,  
> to have something to do  
> but i think that you're wild  
> inside me is some child

Morning fell onto the Badlands peacefully, the sun rising over the horizon. A warm pinkish-orange flooded the skies, sounds of only roaring vehicles and birds passing by. V blinked slowly as he felt weight on him, opening his eyes completely to see Panam on top of him with an unamused look on her face. 

"Finally." She sighed, rolling her eyes with a small smile. The merc simply raised an eyebrow, in awe and no clue as to why the woman was on top of him. Not that it wasn't a pretty sight.

Fuck.

"How long have you been on me?" The merc asked plainly, a dumbfounded expression across his face.

"Too long." She fell off him, already dressed and smelling lovely as usual. V sat up, wiping his eyes and feeling a small patch of stubble on his chin.

"You stink, dude. Shower." The nomad nudged his arm, as he got up and stretched, his body facing her. Her mind went blank staring at his body, along with the various bruises and tattoos that decorated it. The nomad spotted one that seemed to reach into his v line, which made her face heat up. Panam mentally slapped herself, looking down at the sand colored sheets.

"How in the world are you not hung over?" V asked, as he made his way into the bathroom.

"Dunno, guess I'm just magic."

"Magic indeed." Johnny chimed in, which made V jump as he was undressing.

"Jesus, Johnny." He thought to himself, as he continued undressing and hoped Johnny wasn't looking at him.

"Don't worry, princess. I'm not lookin' at ya. Whaddya think of this one though, V? I mean.. I knew what you were thinkin' before. I won't say out loud.." The rockerboy trailed off, to which V just sighed.

"She's cool, Johnny. But I got Kerry, remember? He's great. He was also your best friend." V reminded Johnny, to which Johnny just paced the room and nodded.

"Yeah but c'mon, you can find a Eurodyne in any gay European night club. Don't think you can find a desert queen like her anywhere else. 'Sides V, you sure you still wanna be with him?" The merc stepped into the shower, beginning to wash himself. He let the cold water hit his hair, as he closed his eyes.

"Of course I do. He's amazing."

"No doubt about it. But he's got kids, V. Haven't even told him about the fact yer dyin'. I get you're a flirty little fucker but, the way you looked at that chick—"

"Enough, Johnny." V sounded annoyed, as it seemed like the rockerboy pushed a button.

"Alright, alright. You just seemed

overwhelmed. Not the fuckin' cushionin' kind by a long shot but dont'cha think you're a little too young for all that? Chick like that could really do wonders for ya."

V simply shook his head, letting the water mentally drown out Johnny and any other thoughts. He did care for Kerry a lot. Ever since he helped him with Us Cracks, the rockstar was a good friend and very good looking. Not to mention, even better in bed. But V didnt consider what would entail with Kerry.

They never got a moment of peace, ever. V had decided to fill in at a small gig Kerry was playing, playing guitar. That "small gig" turned into something big fast. Paparazzi, interviewers, fangirls and boys, you

name it and they swarmed them every chance they got.

Then, there was Kerry's kids. A teenage boy who hated V's guts the second he saw him, and a little girl who adored the merc. At first, he thought the aspect was sweet and wanted to definitely be present. That was until he realized just how hard it was to be likable. V made friends easily, he was charming and a sweet talker.

But when it came to.. well, the children of his boyfriend, he was lost. Couldnt click whatsoever with them, no matter how hard he tried. At this point, V gave up. To top it all off, the relic's actual effect. Yeah, he knew about Johnny. That was about all, really. How the hell do you explain everything else to your boyfriend, and THEN his kids? Maybe Johnny was onto something. He wouldn't cheat on Kerry—that was for sure. V just met Panam yesterday. He knew she was an attractive woman, and quite the catch—that was for sure. V just shook away all of those thoughts, wiping his eyes. There were more pressing matters to attend to, like the relic that was currently killing him.

V finished showering, getting out and dressing himself. He peered into the dirty, scratched up mirror. His hair was messily wavy, as he pushed his hands back off his forehead. The merc pursed his lips before brushing his teeth and stepping out of the bathroom, as Panam lay on the bed bored out of her mind.

"Took you long enough." He made his way over, rolling his eyes and meeting her on the bed.

"Whatever, you whine too much. What're we doing?" V plopped down, as the woman sighed and brought out a large map and some schematics.

Spreading it on the bed, V perked up and inspected closely. He attempted to pay attention—but it was hard when he saw the woman next to him as a living and breathing goddess. The merc was completely entranced, beginning to notice the smallest details of the woman. The way she spoke was so expressive—using her hands and eyebrows to talk. He especially noted the way the light from outside cascaded in and highlighted her skin so beautifully, and how much lighter her eyes were, more of a honey color than what they were the night before. The merc began noting these little things in his mind, as Johnny appeared and shook his head.

"Damn it, kid. Pay attention!" He begged, but V was too lost. The woman had finished speaking after some time, meeting his eyes with a worried expression.

"Got it?" She asked, as he nodded with a small smile on his face.Panam seemed slightly confused but returned the smile, before patting his arm.

"Let's get breakfast." She got up, as he followed her out of the motel. The sun was blistering, a small scowl appearing on V's face as he squinted. Panam looked over and cracked a grin, before focusing back on her truck.

"You know a place?" V asked the nomad as they got into her truck, putting his feet up on the dash while she checked a few things.

"Yes, you gonk." Panam scoffed as she pushed his legs off the dashboard. He held his hands up in a surrender, adjusting his posture. 

"So... you um.. you.. you seeing anyone?" V mumbled, as the rockerboy in his head appeared in the backseat.

"Real cool, V. Gonna ask her sign next?" Johnny chimed in, crossing his arms disapprovingly.

Panam turned to him with another puzzled look, as his eyes darted to his feet.

"Nope. Don't think I have the life for that right now." V nodded, shifting his gaze anywhere else. The nomad noticed this, as she smirked.

"Why? Trying out for the part?" He looked back at her, matching the mischievous smirk.

"Depends. How am I doing?" Johnny stuck out his tongue and pointed to it, mimicking puking.

"Could be doing a lot worse, lover boy."

They arrived at a tiny hole-in-the-wall place, a washed out pink and blue. A dimly lit "OPEN" sign flashed, as the pair stepped out of the car. They stood side by side at the front of Panam's trunk, crossing their arms. V pulled out his lighter and pack, noticing the faded "no smoking" sign also on the window. His face read a mix between confusion, amazement, and slight disgust. The nomad noticed this, quirking an eyebrow.

"What's wrong, prince? Never been to a waffle place before?" V rolled his eyes at Panam's smugness, smiling as he used his teeth to pull a cigarette from his pack, lighting it as he put the pack away.

"Ha-Ha. I've been to plenty. Hell, if I had a nickel for every time I'd stand outside crummy diners waiting for weird-ass old men to pick me up, I wouldn't be speaking to you right now," He exhaled cooly, angling his hand backwards and smirking. The nomad had no idea what he was smiling at, assuming it was a fond memory.

"Besides, they always have better food than whatever the fuck Arasaka's catering was. Fuck, s'been forever since I've had a good breakfast." V flicked his cig, before grinding the nub into the gravel. He leaned off the truck, opening the door for Panam as they stepped inside. She led the way, finding a small booth in the back. They sat across from each other, as V lounged with one arm hanging off the seat.

"You know the place well?" He asked, fidgeting with his lighter. It was a pretty gold color, with a small engraving of Guadalupe on it. The lighter was slightly scratched, with the initials "JW" etched into it. V looked at it fondly, a small but sordid smile on his face. Panam rested her head on her fist, studying the man.

"Mhm. Knew the manager when I was younger. Pretty sure most of the workers are still here," His attention was still on the lighter, but he nodded understandingly and looked up at her. Her eyes found the lighter he was holding—holding on to it for dear life.

"Pretty lighter." Panam commented, as V set it down and slid it over to her.

"Look closely. The details are what make it so pretty." His voice was lower, as he spoke plainly and scratched the back of his neck. She held the lighter up, eyes scanning every inch. It seemed V did protect it with his life. Barely any scratches, although a particular pair stood out. There were initials with a phone number on the blank side, as she inspected closer.

"JW?" V watched her look at it, his eyes widening at the letters mentioned.

"Jackie Welles. He's—was my best friend." A waitress soon came by, an older tanned woman with gray hair falling on her shoulders. She had a kind smile with gentle eyes. V was grateful the woman had come by—he wasn't even sure what he'd say. Explaining who his dead best friend wasn't exactly his plans for breakfast. The mercenary also knew Panam would probably innocently ask, as she did about his father. It wasn't a problem— well, V would make sure it didn't seem like one.

It was an instinct. Don't mix personal shit with work. Of course, it wasn't like he was fucking her. Fuck, he was thinking about it. He was practically begging his brain to leave it alone, to keep his metaphorical dick in his pants. V also prayed Johnny wasn't about to glitch in and say something annoying. The last thing he needed was the rocker-boy chiming in annoyingly as usual.

"Heard that, fuck-face. Get back to the nomad." He appeared next to Panam, legs on the table while she was off having a small talk with the waitress. Johnny sneered as V just shook his head, wiping a hand across his face. V drew his attention back to Panam, their one-off conversation coming to a close.

"Alright, 'nough about me. What can I get ya, pretty boy?" The older woman turned to him, as he sat up and nervously smiled. Another habit of his was respecting his elders, one of the few instances he cared that much about respect. Panam snickered at this quietly, looking pompous. He noticed this and turned to her, rolling his eyes.

"Pan?" V maintained a polite tone, his eyebrows quirking. She simply smiled politely as well, waving him off.

"Hmm.. just get him what I'm having." The waitress nodded towards the nomad, taking out a small book and writing it all down. She gave them both a friendly smile, nodding them off as she walked away. Panam turned to the man, who seemed unfazed, still sitting up straight with his hands interlocked.

"So well-mannered." The nomad teased.

"I always am." He snorted, running a hand through his hair. His eyes found the lighter again, which was being traced tenderly by Panam's thumb. Silence fell for a beat or two, before V began muttering something.

"So, Jackie and I met back in high school. Ninth grade english class," The merc began smiling fondly as soon as he thought about it, now crossing his arms comfortably and looking out the window. The nomad perked up, listening intently.

"Neither one of us spoke much english. Jackie was way more fluent than me, so we kinda bonded with what we knew. He was the most loyal and funniest person I've ever met. I came by often, met his mother. Almost felt like I had a family." V chuckled self deprecatingly, shrugging his shoulders. He squinted for a moment, searching for the right words.

"We hit it off pretty quick. Stayed in touch, shit never changed between us. We'd break off into our own things: me with work, him with the Valentinos. Once I worked at Arasaka, that's when things changed." He sighed, as he shifted in his seat when the waitress returned. She sat down two drinks with straws, before walking away again. V picked up his, inspecting it.

"It's orange juice, genius." Panam sipped at her drink, still fidgeting with the lighter. The merc rolled his eyes, sipping it.

"Shocked that Arasaka hired you, knowing your.. history and all." She intended for that sentence to come off with no malice, shifting awkwardly.

"Mm. My dad forced me to, he thought it would change me. 'Said I needed to get off my back and do actual work, whatever the fuck that was suggesting." V shook his head, scowling. Panam frowned, placing a hand on his arm. He moved his arm, allowing for his hand to fall under hers. A shy smile slipped across his face, as V looked down to hide it.

"My boss wanted me to kill a higher up. I went to Jackie about it and kinda got a wake up call. Didn't expect for that wake-up call to be getting fired," V scoffed and drank more.

"Jackie got me into merc work, small shit. Until he got an offer from Dexter Deshawn and shit hit the fuckin' fan-" His voice quivered, his eyebrows as he shocked himself. V had no idea he was that vulnerable, as he quickly shut himself up. He shook his head, shifting his gaze down.

"V..it's okay. Think I know where this goes. Always sort of goes that way with him." Panam looked at the lighter one last time before sliding it back to him and leaning back. The merc simply took it in his hands, before shoving it back into his pocket.

"S' fine. Another time, perhaps. Point is, he was my best friend. Gave it to me in high school. You know what he told me?" V looked up at her with a playful grin. She shook her head with an amused look, as he looked down and smiled.

"When you're god knows where, doing god knows what, remember me, hermano. And give me a fuckin' call so I can pick your ass up, ese." His face was a little flushed as he looked off embarrassingly, now full on smiling. As the words fell from his mouth, it was almost like he could imagine Jackie saying it to him. A younger Jackie, his eyes were always full of hope. Endless hope.

"So you've always been a gonk?" 

"You two would've gotten along well."

Food had arrived, and they decided to just eat in comfortable silence, some banter here and there. It was nice, and V felt normal for a short while. He realized just how more human he felt with her. It wasn't like he hated Johnny anymore. He's grown fond of the older man, but he desperately wished he could be home in his body. That was one thing they could understand pretty fucking well— the unwelcoming feeling of being somewhere they don't belong. V decided not to dwell on that for so long, as they were now on their way to the Aldecaldo camp.

Panam explained what had happened, and why they're going back now. V was interested in what transpired. He was truly intrigued as to why anyone would flee to Night City in the first place. But he sympathized with the nomad, and wanted to help her as much as possible. The plan was pretty simple. They would first set up a big ass bomb, hoping it would bring down Hellman's convoy.

The area wasn't tall at all, so the sheer force would be guaranteed to knock down the ship. V encouraged Panam to go to the camp, saying how she should at least make an effort if they were family. The woman agreed begrudgingly, they could use some help. But, she feared many things. The most pressing being dealing with Saul, the chief of the camp. Another fear was bringing another guy with her to camp. Back when Nash wasn't killed by V, she'd taken him to camp and her family certainly... got familiar with him. The nomad wondered how that was not a red flag that they hated him.

But V was different. V was a friend. He gave her actually good advice and was the most respectful and supportive gonk she'd met since she came to Night City. Yeah, she may have definitely indiscreetly ogled at him a few times. Maybe she was also fond of his various nicknames for her since this morning (Her favorite so far was definitely "puppy eyes"), and the way he'd sometimes graze her skin or body with his hand. But he was a friend before any of that— and a really good one. Panam desperately needed company since she left the Aldecaldos, and her old partner certainly was not as amusing as V.

The mercenary had been asleep in the passenger seat as Panam drove to camp. They were talking for awhile, until he just fell right out. She didn't think much of it, as he seemed like he didn't get much sleep with the eyebags and reddish-purple tint around his eyes. This didn't really take away from his appeal—the rugged look suited him. He began stirring as the roaring of her car got louder, which made her look over at him. His hair was pushed back off his face in a middle part, looking majestic and almost prince-like. V's face was less matured now, and more bare and dewy. His lips were parted slightly, looking ample and soft. The nomad tried her best to not stare, and instead turn her attention back to the road.

"Mmm..heyyyyy." V greeted her in a raspy whisper, his voice deeper than usual. Oh, how she wished his morning voice was not that alluring.

"Hey sleepyhead." Her hands gripped the steering wheel aggressively, but her face remained relaxed.

"Woah, who gave you road rage while I was out?" He referred to her almost red knuckles, to which she just chuckled.

"No road rage—not yet, at least. Just a bit tired myself." The merc nodded, pulling his balaclava out of the glove department and shoving it in his pocket.

"Let me know if you ever need me to take over." He teased, as she rolled her eyes.

They arrived at camp, to half fanfare for Panam and half curiosity for the man behind her. V shoved his hands into his pockets, not really caring much about the people staring at him. He was use to attention, of course. But, he was also too tired to really care. Johnny walked behind him, looking around the area.

"Huh. So this what Dukes of Hazzard is like." The rockerboy joked, V wanting to laugh out loud, but instead just smiled to himself. It was a homely little camp. Tents, some trailers, and a whole lot of cars. V could definitely fit in here—that is, if they'd let him. He realized even if his outfit was suited for combat, it was definitely on the high fashion side. If it wasn't for the boots and pants, his expensive turtleneck would be a dead giveaway.

"Don't worry about the looks. They do this a lot." Panam reassured him, grabbing his wrist and leading him. V shook his head, staring at the ground as he felt a small headache coming on.

"No worries, I'm used to many eyes. Staring is kind of homely for me." The nomad giggled at this, pushing his shoulder with hers. They stopped in front of two men who embraced Panam tightly. One was older with a bald spot on his head, wearing a tank top and some cargos. The other man wore a hood and cloak-like attire. V stood awkwardly for a moment before leaning against a box.

"Well, what do we have here?" The hooded man exclaimed, a large smile on his face. The other man nodded, crossing his arms.

"Oh! V, this is Mitch and Scorpion." The woman introduced the men to each other, as V extended a hand and shook both of theirs.

"Nice to meet you, V. New partner?"

"Could say that." He gave a knowing smile to Panam, as she just rolled her eyes.

"He helped me get some of my things back, so now I'm helping him find a target." Mitch nodded understandingly, shifting a little. Scorpion simply stood with his arms crossed.

"Could really use your help." V piped up, swallowing nervously as he looked away awkwardly.

"'Fraid we can't do much. Saul has us workin' generators again." Mitch replied, frowning a bit as he took out a cigarette and lighter.

"You're kidding, right?" The nomad woman looked between the two in front of her, before holding the bridge of her nose and sighing.

"Hey hey, that doesn't mean you're not welcome to our equipment. You are family, Pan." The hooded man spoke up, motioning over to the tents nearby. V patted the woman's back, nodding towards it.

"You be careful." Scorpion told her quietly.

"Nice meeting you, V. Watch her for me, yeah?" He nodded him off and walked away, as Mitch did the same.

"Mhm. Girls got a temper, sure you've already seen it." V had a shit-eating grin on his face as Panam just crossed her arms and pouted annoyed.

"I have no idea what he's talking about."

"Mhm. Totally." Her eyes were glued to the sand before she met his. They locked eyes for a moment, definitely longer. Dark eyes meeting dark eyes, a small smile fell onto the mans face. Before he could open his mouth, Panam punched him in the arm hard.

"Quit smiling like that, gonk."

"It's just my face!" V whined, holding his arm.

"It's a dumb face!" The woman explained, looking slightly upset.

"You love it though, don't you?" V said in a sultry, near whisper. His goofy half smirk grew into a full one, while Panams eyes just widened and she kicked his shin hard. The man fell and grabbed his shin, keeping his mouth shut from groaning.

"GOD, we really need to establish a safeword." The man cried out, as he rubbed his shin. Panam just smiled amusingly at the mans pain, crossing her arms and kicking some sand around.

"Your silence would work perfectly." V ran a hand through his hair as he stood up, the same shit eating grin back on his face.

"Kinky." He said as he instinctually stepped back from the woman, scared for his life. Panam just shook her head, before walking over to a tent. V simply followed, as she explained on the way where she was going.

"Pick up whatever you need." She turned

around, waiting for him to make a cheesy comment. V simply hunched over, as his head would hit the tent if not, looking at her curiously.

"Your ass is sort of in my way, Pan." Panam just shook her head, picking up a rifle and then stepping out of the tent.

"You always zig when I think you'll zag, V." V simply shrugged, only picking up a pistol and checking the mag. The woman fiddled with the rifle, inspecting it closely.

"Makes things more fun, don't you think?"

"I'm curious about how your pillow talk goes." She joked, to which V just smirked.

"If you're curious, maybe you should come find out." He met her eyes before mouthing 'sorry' with a plead in his eyes, as she just looked down with a fond smile on her face. V walked over to her, placing a hand onto hers while she held the gun.

"You... have a really nice smile." He complimented her genuinely, a friendly smile falling onto his face. Panam looked up at him, staring intensely into his eyes.

"So do you. Even the one that pisses me off." V quirked an eyebrow, before just looking away contently. Panam put his hand down, before holding the rifle with both hands and walking over to her car.

"Does your whole camp think I'm your boyfriend or something?" V followed her again, with a half offended tone in his voice as he noticed the lingering stares from the camp.

"Seems like it's what you want everyone else to think." The nomad replied playfully.

"Doesn't seem to bother you."

"It doesn't, they're annoying like that." She replied quickly, loading the rifle into her trunk and checking for other weapons. The mercenary just looked away as she bent over, anticipating Johnny to pop up and make another charming remark.

"It would probably bother my boyfriend, though." Panam shut her trunk loudly—louder than intended. Her eyes widened and face felt warm. So not only taken, but gay.

"You're not gonna go all buck wild on me, are you?" The merc had a bit of concern in his eyes. Panam turned to face him, shaking her head.

"Of course not, I...just didn't know you were gay." Panam reassured him. She wasn't homophobic at all, in fact she had her own fair share of relationships with men, women, anyone she felt attracted to. But that was for another time. It didn't bother her one bit, but it confused her how he could flirt so easily. Maybe it was easy because he wasn't at all interested.

"Gay? I'm not gay." V shook his head, as if he was disgusted by the idea.

"I mean, yeah I like guys but I also like women. I'm versatile, you know." Panam nodded, now understanding a lot easier.

"How could I spend the night with you and not be even a bit curious—"

"V." Panam cut him off, a cheeky grin on her face as she put a hand on his chest. He placed his veiny hand over hers, before holding it and tracing shapes into her skin.

"You're very.. friendly for someone who has a boyfriend."

"I'm friendly with everyone. Just extra friendly to you." He gave a genuine smile, just like the one he had when they first met. But once again, his eyes were very telling.

"Hope your boyfriend doesn't mind." The nomad teased back, now getting close to him. V backed against her trunk, looking at her lustfully with a playful grin. Johnny sat on the trunk, eating some glitchy popcorn quietly. V was too entranced to notice, as Panam caressed the side of his face with her free hand. Things felt heated between the two, before the woman squished his cheek as if she was a grandma. His eyes widened, as he was plain confused.

"Damn, such a tease." Johnny remarked, shaking his head. V felt like his head was spinning from the feeling of her hand on his face, and her scent so close to him.

"Your cheeks looked so big when you were asleep. Like a baby." The nomad chuckled, stepping back and opening her trunk again. The merc wished he was closer, he craved it. But the moment had already passed as Panam finished checking her trunk, and he just stood there like an idiot. She'd walk off, presumably to speak to Mitch and Scorpion again before they left.

V remembered the scent of the woman— something like jasmine or hibiscus— making a mental note of it. His enneagram-companion returned, to shake his head and take a drag.

"Fuckin' geek. So ya do wanna fuck her, surprise surprise." The mercenary just sat down, hugging his knees to his chest and exhaling.

"No, Johnny. I don't. But then again—" V's thoughts were interrupted as the rockerboy exhaled sharply, clicking his tongue.

"Tsk Tsk." V flipped him off as the man was now sitting next to him.

"What, V? I'm listenin'."

"But, am I crazy for thinking maybe she does?" Silverhand shook his head, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Hoooly shit, aren't you a bold little boy scout?"

"Oh fuck off, Johnny. You saw how she was looking at me. Saw how she touched me. What person does that?" The rockerboy was silent for a moment before shrugging.

"Maybe someone who knows a gonk when she sees one. Dunno, V. This chick's a fox either way." V rested his chin on his fist, thinking again.

"I know what you're thinkin', but I got a feeling you needa say it. Well, think think it. Shit, ya get what I mean." The merc readjusted himself, his heart sinking. Guilt flooded over his face so visibly, as he pulled out a cigarette. He lit one, popping it in his mouth. V exhaled smoke cooly, before beginning to speak.

"I hate to say it, but you may be on to something. Kerry and I have been having the same problems for weeks now, but I don't know if leaving him is the solution. Maybe we just gotta talk?" The older man shook his head at V's naivety and hopelessness. He adjusted his aviators, rolling out a crick in his neck.

"You guys have talked for weeks and weeks. It's the same shit. 'V—I'm sorry, we can't have dinner out tonight, Us Cracks is eating there! V—I'm real sorry some guy stole your car. V—I'm sorry my fuckin' son called you an asshole!' Same ol' shit V. Same ol' excuses. I love the guy—really, I do. But he's not right for ya," Johnny took another drag, frowning.

"Maybe in another life, 'nother time. Kerry's got love for ya, and I'm sure part of ya does too. But you're too young—especially for that typa responsibility. Panam seems alright, shit maybe she does see something' in ya." V turned to him, quirking an eyebrow.

The rockerboy had a sad expression, looking down sadly and sighing.

"You alright?" V asked, as Johnny looked away and exhaled sharply.

"Just a memory, forget it. Where's your nomad queen, anyways? Should be back by now." Just as Johnny disappeared, the aforementioned woman was on her way back. V stood up, wiping his eyes and dropping his cigarette, grinding it in the ground with his boot.

"All ready?" Panam asked with a serious expression, before her eyebrows knitted together.

"Are you alright, V?" V shook his head as if he was in a daze, a nervous hand on his neck.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. No worries."

Well, this will be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annddd we’re back!! i’m still relatively new to this, so i appreciate the help and feedback! it means so much. i know it’s been kiiinda a bit, i’ve had school and some nerves around posting this chapter. hope you enjoy ! comments and kudos r much appreciated .. rest when needed, you matter <3

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this is my first fic ever LOL  
> pls comment kudos whatever ,,  
> hope you enjoy !  
> remember to sleep at a good time, drink water, and come back if any chapter is too lengthy!!!  
> you matter <3  
> also feel free to check out my tumblr, it’s the same user lol


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